Chapter Twenty-Five

Eileen’s Double Life

Circumstances over the past week have made it difficult to address the message Eileen received on January 24th. For a while, the news reports, statements from world leaders, security analysts, financial pundits and opinions of everyone from the Pope, the public and Bollywood stars dominated the media. Though still much talked about, since nothing terrible happened after the release, people, in general, went back to their lives and their own personal issues. A small earthquake on the San Andreas Fault in the communities surrounding Hollister, California was attributed by some to the “message,” but even the people of Hollister didn’t give that much credence, as familiar as they were with the natural tremors they experience on a regular basis.

Eileen’s defense for Chancey, and her on and off relationships with various men she had met were of more concern for the female lawyer then the brief text conversation in which she had engaged with an unknown online visitor. Though still on her mind from time to time, little of the dialogue remains with her, except for the ending concerning the warning about her recent “hookup,” Glenn.

Glenn is charming, witty, and intelligent, and the two have a lot in common. They are both defense attorneys and they both work for large international law firms. And although they can’t discuss current cases, they each spin stories of trials and outcomes earlier in their career, and the paths that led them to their cases now.

Though honest about most things, Eileen has not been  so direct with stories of her personal life and relationships. Since becoming a lawyer she has never revealed the fact that a legal career was not her first choice of an occupation. She also has never revealed how many sexual partners she has accumulated since the age of 14. In twenty years, Eileen estimates more than 650 sexual encounters with men, women, and trans-sexuals in one-on-one and multiple situations.

The truth is that Eileen once entertained a career in the porno industry, before deciding on law. By nature, her desire for sex was elevated, and except for “torture” during the act, she was up and ready for any position, orifice, and accessories one could invent or imagine.

Since becoming a lawyer, the discretion of these encounters has become of ultimate importance, and her anxiety of being outed and her past becoming common knowledge amongst her colleagues, peers and clients continues to plague her, while her desire for sex is continually on her mind and sometimes overrides her sensibilities. Fortunately, she has never found herself, nor any of her encounters, on internet porno sites, and never consciously allowed any photos or recordings of her personally involved in acts to be taken. She seldom uses her real name, and is as careful as possible to assure that all recent encounters remain discrete. She maintains her privacy by vetting potential partners, online and through an exclusive service she has joined – who help her find married men who would have everything to lose if they were found out. All that being said, it is a source of great anxiety that  her past and present proclivities could be revealed at any time and by any one.

Eileen met her recent “hookup,” Glenn, on, a dating service that has provided discrete dating for those married since the early 2000s. Since she has never been married, she was flagged by the service, but established a standing by proving her credentials and her specific needs for privacy. The firm is proud of its record in building trust among its clientele which includes individuals from all walks of life including men and women in business, politics, medicine, education and the legal profession.

She received Glenn’s dossier and photos in early October, and the two met discretely in late November at a restaurant near Smithwork’s Experience in Kilkenny. The meeting went well; there seemed to be some spark and much in common; and the couple drove to a small Inn in Ayrfield where they rented a room and spent the afternoon.

Glenn addressed his marriage and his relationship with his wife, talked about his kids, two girls and a boy, and appeared honest about his dalliances, and his proclivities.

Recently, however, Glenn has been much more subdued, and Eileen has wondered whether he has found a sexual partner, or more, better suited to his needs. On the evening before the day of the “message,” Glenn and Eileen had met for dinner, and he seemed distracted and somewhat anxious. He apologized for his distraction, and attributed it to work but he remained somewhat aloof the remainder of the evening, even through the sex.

The encounter with the messenger who texted her on January 24th and the subsequent announcements from the press and others was troubling, but the warning she received in the communication about Glenn shook her to the core.

Eileen believed she had made every effort to keep her private life private, and now, someone or some thing who had the  ability to break past all security channels had also broken in and was investigating her life.

The “warning” about Glenn may have come as no surprise to Eileen, but to have someone address her about this man whom she only recently met was foreboding. How many others knew about her secret life? Who would tell, and how long before her reputation was stained forever?

Her defenseless case against Chancey only fortifies her dread. She is defenseless, and she knows it. She has broken all of the rules of her Church, the Catholic one in which she was christened and confirmed. She has ignored the traditions of all the women in her family by refusing to marry. And she has endangered her career through her reckless pursuit of self-gratifying sexual encounters. Her whole life makes no sense....and soon it would all be revealed to the world.

In her mind, she knows she is a worthless slut, who contributes to adulterous relationships, a home wrecker and a deceitful bitch who cares nothing about the sanctity of marriage, the rules of the society in which she lives, or the innocent wives whose lives are being shattered by the wounds she has so carelessly inflicted.